On My Door - Queen Elizabeth

Queen Elizabeth knocked on my door today.
I answered with an appropriate bow
(not too low, but low enough to show
that I knew what was up),
and invited her in.
She accepted my invitation
and was trailed by two armed guards.
I thought I should wait for her
to speak first, seeing how she's the Queen,
but she seemed disinclined
to state the purpose of her visit.
Perhaps there was something I should
have intuited because we sat there for about
two hours before she nodded to her security
and they all got up and left.

I walked them to the door
and then said invitingly,
"Do please come again, your majesty."

On My Door - Nickelback

Nickelback knocked on my door today.
I didn't answer so hard
that I wanted to answer.

On My Door - Billy Bush

Billy Bush knocked on my door today.
That's gross.

On My Door - Rex Ryan

Rex Ryan knocked on my door today.
No.

On My Door - The TMZ Guy

The TMZ guy knocked on my door today.
No thank you.

On My Door - Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian knocked on my door today.
I didn't answer.

On My Door - Vince Lombardi

If it wasn't Vince Lombardi who knocked
on my door today then who was it?
The knocking would stop every time I got up
to answer, and then start again
as I sat back down. It was as if
the prospective entrant could see
my every action. I finally pretended
to go back to my chair,
stomping in place
as I stood just inside the front door,
but the knocking did not start again
until I eventually left the foyer and returned to my seat.
And when it returned,
uncanny as I breathed out
and popped the footrest,

I looked at the muted television
and saw Lombardi's toothy,
open-mouthed grin taunting me.